Gratitude is a concept that is fully worthy of its current buzzword status.
So why is everyone talking about gratitude right now? We’ll explore this question, and then we’ll help you see for yourself by guiding you through a simple exercise that you can use right now.
Gratitude is the process of shifting our gaze and noticing the things and people and sentiments in our lives that we appreciate. As we approach Thanksgiving, a holiday rooted in noticing the things and people and sentiments that we are thankful for, let’s pause for a moment to consider what it means for us to be grateful. I invite you to reflect on this now. How does being grateful make you feel? For me, it feels uplifting and fantastic.
What can expressing gratitude do for us?
I often speak of the attentional and intentional shift that happens within us when we shift our focus to noticing and expressing what we are grateful for. It may be cold and dreary outside, but what happens when you focus on the warmth that you feel from the comfort of the indoors, or the cozy jacket that you wear and warm beverage you sip as you approach the dreary weather? Or that while today may be dreary, you were able to enjoy yesterday’s sunshine? There are so many ways you can go with this one example, but the idea is that when you shift your focus, a shift happens inside of you. A growing body of research supports this as well, which we explore in a separate post.
According to the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley, gratitude is motivational. It can drive us to make positive change in our lives and the lives of others because it elicits feelings of:
connection: When we express gratitude, this tends to increase our connection to others, which has a positive effect on our sense of competence and also feeling like we are supported as we strive toward our goals.
inspiration: Expressing gratitude is uplifting, which can fuel subsequent positive and prosocial behaviors and goals.
humility: When we express gratitude, we acknowledge the role of other people or other things that are helpful to us; we learn that we are not solely responsible for our success or joy.
So now I ask you to reflect for a moment, on this question: ‘what has gratitude done for you?’
I recently spoke with a participant of a past gratitude journaling-focused workshop I had run. I wanted to share this conversation, as her experiences may resonate with others. She said, “The past few years I have made a point of noticing things that I feel grateful for in my everyday life, like when someone has been there for me, and things like that. This has been great, but I really didn’t think I needed to write it down.” Therefore, she had never taken that extra time to write it down.
While completing a written gratitude journaling exercise in this workshop, however, she noticed that it felt even more nourishing to take the time to write these things down. She decided to continue this practice of writing things down at home. She ended up with an ongoing record of her experiences and reflections. And she could always go back and reflect on where she was then and use it to guide her in the present. Our conversation about gratitude happened two months after the workshop. She said, “it’s kind of been life-changing for me to write this down.”
Taking the time to observe and reflect has led to some meaningful learning and personal growth. The best part is that this practice takes minimal time, and can easily become part of a routine. Many people choose to start each day reflecting on something positive in their lives; many people choose this practice at the end of the day, reflecting on the day. Whatever and whenever you decide to do this practice, it is an investment in yourself and represents time well spent.
I invite you try this simple exercise right now. Take a moment right now and take out a piece of paper, your journal, an electronic note app on your phone, or whatever method of recording this exercise that works for you. Respond to and complete the following exercise:
Three things that I am feeling grateful about right now are:
1)
2)
3)
Now that you have completed the exercise, I’d like for you to reflect on what you just did. How was this exercise for you? How was it to identify these three things? What has stood out for you from completing this exercise?
I, too, will now list three things that I am grateful for right now.
1) I am grateful that you have decided to open yourself up to this exercise and to the practice of gratitude. Regardless of whether you’ve already been intentionally practicing gratitude for a while or whether this blog post has inspired a something new for you, I’m grateful that you are here. Your openness to the practice will help lead you on your way.
2) I am grateful that I decided to write this post. While I can’t say enough about this topic, I am grateful that I have cleared the time and the space to get some of it out here in this post.
3) I am grateful for the love and support I feel around me.
And I would be so grateful if you would share this blog post with a friend. If you would like a PDF of this exercise emailed to you, click here. If you are comfortable doing so, I would also love to hear about how this exercise was for you today. Is gratitude journaling currently a regular practice for you? If not, might it become one?
- Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.
Founder, Write.Reflect.Grow.